lolamarya - The Voice

Instinctually amusing, but abusing the less fortunate.  Held on pedestals so high,  singing songs about touching the sky.  So out of touch yet within reach.  Got all the youth wanting to be, made in their image.  So we imitate them to their finish.  Or maybe to our own demise not seeing ourselves through our own eyes.  Created in HIS image, so our perspective should match HIS,  yet we rarely see who we really are.  Reflective from our perception of presumed acceptance, if we become who they want us to be.  But who are they and who are we? Living to impress and be accepted by those simply dying for our acceptance

I want it to feel like the first time First time i kissed, First time my lips ever met another I want that pure, innocent attraction That, butterflies in my stomach, I can't wait to see him on the playground-type feeling That, I just want to be in your presence,  Talk to you on the phone until the wee hours of the morning about nothing,  But we both refuse to hang up because we just want to hold on... to each other Even if it simply the lingering of voices whispering and breathing because we are both barely conscious, But as long as I am here and you are there, we can both be here... Together I want that type of feeling of, we were friends before lovers, but not just friends and lovers we are each other's other.....

Maybe I am ready for love….Maybe really Maybe my heart is ready and willing and wanting to be shared To love and to have an to hold and to know…. I wanna know what love is…. I want you to show me….. Is it bad, that I've never made love, I never have, but I sure know how to…. wait, that was the old me The new me desires to be free within the bounds of Liberty This me who desires to know love like God intended Connect me to the man from whom his rib was used to create me Show me what it means to loved, unconditionally, uninhibited, blindly What it means to have a soul-mate…… mind, will and emotions all intertwined  Everything within the depths of me is consumed of him and in him, mine Please allow me to be fragile, vulnerable and broken A brokeness only healed by his love, his touch Am I asking for too much?.........

Got people telling me I need to sing again Thing is, I only feel right singing in church I don't need to be in the studio, long passed away my dreams of being in front of people to glorify my gift or to for them to say that I sounded good, just for the sake of sounding good. I want to worship... I want to sing a new song... to usher in the spirit of God with the gift that He gave to me.... to give it back and lay all of me down in surrender to do what He called me to do..... where do I begin?

that I should be more frequent here.  This is supposed to be the place where I express my artistry, but motherhood has overtaken the other parts of my life.  Balance.... I was told shortly ago that I need balance in my life and when I really think about it, that is just what I need.  Where to start is the question. In a few hours, I begin my 31st year of this life journey.  Too old to be immature and too young to not change.  This next year will be the year to build upon the foundation that I already have. slowly, but surely, I have to focus and remember what is important and great things will happen.

And then I did something called letting it go.....

My pen moves swiftly; poetry in motion. Capturing the essence of the soul of me, voiding the notion, that the artist in me has died. She is strong and revived. Remembering a dream. Remembering all that she knew and hoped for; all that she promised to obtain. She knows truth. She has overcome adversity and stepped out unscathed. She is.... she is becoming whom she is destined to be

My words and I have been at a disconnect It's time for The Voice in me to resurrect Lord breathe life back into these words of mine And let them be pleasing to you Let me speak what needs to be spoken so that someone Can hear the truth Let me live life not afraid of living Let me be me and everything that I was created to be Remove the stains of the sin I have entangled myself in Let my heart and my mind be unscathed Heal me, renew me, remake me Lord take me Into your will and allow me to dwell there Show me me, and You within me Return me to innocence, lost My desire is to once again be whole, No matter what the cost.