lolamarya - The Voice

  “The LORD Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”  Exodus 14:14 NLT If you are anything like me, you tend to want to argue your point, especially when you know you are correct or when you feel that you are being misunderstood or misinterpreted.   One thing I have learned is that when you stand on Biblical principles and maintain your integrity, God will vindicate you, so you do not need to debate or prove your point. As a young, 18-year-old college freshman, I was highly involved in several campus ministries and genuinely committed to living a lifestyle of someone in pursuit of Christ.   One day, someone whom I considered a friend, told me that she thought I was a fake Christian, just like some other “Christians” on campus.     Even though this hurt me, I did not choose to argue with her.   I took this to God, prayed and continued to be who I was and go on about my college journey.   A few weeks later, this same individual came to me a...

Freshman year talent show - September 2025

I found this in a book of poetry and have no idea how long ago this was written.  She sat by herself; feeling lonely, but secure.   Secure in knowing that she could trust no one but her own self.   Well, herself and God. But even the God factor had been questioned.   I mean, she never learned to trust those physically there, so the belief that someone she could not see nor feel could be more trustworthy had always been a hard thought to grasp.   She knew that her circle had much love for her.   I mean, it wasn’t the idea of love that she had a problem with.   Although the issue of trust somehow misguided the way she expressed and interpreted love.   The love of her friends and family didn’t mean that she could always count on them.   She learned that lesson at an early age.   People are fallible.   This truth was obtained from those who conceived her.   Humanly good intentions can still yield undesired results. No matter how go...

 Still Scattering These Thoughts....  You'll never again see tears fall down my face I learned decades ago that you will never be a safe space I held onto hope that change may come Held on so long and so hard that I have become numb And our conversations aren't conversations Just holding a bit of space and air as long as we can consume the awkwardness of the moment I'm not sure what you want from me....

What Aaliyah Said Tears stay hidden, so I guess I'll cry inside A little bit of me leaves me each time I neglect myself Feels like I've died inside A thousand deaths, but continue to resurrect Each time stronger, no each time weaker No each time a seeker of what brought me here in the first place Still seeking the cause and the solution I'm lost here We need a resolution 06/10/2026

 Anxiety lives in me like I invited it here Took me almost to the age of 45 to realize That my life has been driven by fear How much more praying can I do, In hope that things will change? I've even tried therapy because I'm aware  That I need to rewire my brain But I'm constantly fighting, almost instinctively I've been bound by things that plague me I'm just trying to be free January 2026