Spazing on pad with pen has become my only healthy outlet
My attempts to drink the pain away give room for negative decisions
My liquor vice gives me bad advise and I usually take heed
Walking directly into generational curses because I am my parents’ seed
Maybe I should pray more, but I feel guilty
And although there is no condemnation
I feel as though I have fallen too short
I need time to redeem myself
And that is contradictory to the fact that His blood has already redeemed me
I continually place myself in these situations
Of crucifying Christ again
Because I have been forgiven, yet return to the same sin
I am fully and irrationally double-minded
I see clearly, yet I am blinded
