Monday, October 21, 2024

October 18, 2024



Feeling like the old me

Wanting to retreat to my personal place of safety 

I trusted too much, got comfortable too fast 

Now I’m leery of those I gave access to

Body feeling tensed because of a whirlwind of emotions, but I can’t place them

What is this thing that I’m feeling?

What do I need to displace from this place of familiar uncomfortability

I don’t want to be here again

But here is just the doorway to a slippery slope of overwhelming chaos and I refuse to travel down that path again

Lord I recognize that I am not in a good space

I need you

Rescue me once again

Revive the light in me…. Rekindle the fire in me Lord….. once again

I’m not down a path of sin, but something has disconnected

I gave space to things I shouldn’t have and an obstacle has erected

I recognize that this is not where I want to be

I feel like the children of Israel in the wilderness. 

Lord let me be a Caleb in this place

Take me through; let my heart’s posture remain surrendered to you

I recognize that this is not where I want to be

So rather than to succumb to these feelings Lord help me to fight so I can be where you want me to be.